what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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