No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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