Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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