The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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