Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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