"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
