would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
