Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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