and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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