Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
