Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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