I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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