I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
