i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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