At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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