Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
