My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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