Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
