Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
