Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just had sex on a roof
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
