I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
