Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
