I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
