I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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