I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
