I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
