Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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