he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
