okay pat passed out under dana's car
you traded sex for a burrito?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
