Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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