You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
