tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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