just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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