Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Success! We fucked roommates!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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