she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
