Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
