So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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