OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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