Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
