so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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