The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
