dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
