guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
