i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
