Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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