There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
