So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
