they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
