Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
