you traded sex for a burrito?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
