I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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