Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
