Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
