So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
